Wise, adorable cat orb charms from Japan gacha machines float ominously wherever you hang them

What is your wallet, bag or desk display missing? That’s right: a frightening and beguiling plastic cat orb.

Try to remember – have you ever witnessed a memetic cat in the wilderness of the Internet? It might be hard to remember just one – the Internet is for cat photos, and Japanese netizens know that better than anyone.

Your answer might be a safe one, like the adorable box-hopping Maru, or maybe you’re just a fan of generically cute cat behaviors like napping in nabe pots.

But once you get hooked on viral cat videos and photos, you might find your tastes get…well, a bit weirder. Japanese net users are especially drawn to these cryptid cats, with special levels of love given to cats caught in awkward panorama shots or in unflattering poses.

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(リュウの人) (@da_hara159) May 09, 2013

Sometimes merchandising companies will even take the strangest of these contorted cats and make them into charms, and these merchandising companies are usually Japanese. After all, if the country who came up with squished kitty bottle cap stands can’t make it into something cute and collectible, who can?

And right now, gacha toy company Qualia is selling a tiny blob of deformed kitty goodness for the low, low price of 300 yen (US$2.76). Of course, they’re gacha game prizes, so which cat you get is random – but after seeing the line-up we’re sure you’ll agree there’s no way to lose.

With a number of attractive color options, from orange tabby to grey tabby, black to white, Himalayan to calico, whatever cat orb you receive is sure to earn a prized place on your keyring fob or bag strap. Each one comes with a slightly baffled and yet uncomfortably knowing expression, with huge, coaxing eyes that seem to croon “take me home” as well as “I know all of your secrets, mere mortal.” Just like a real cat!

Qualia is no stranger to bizarre cat gacha toys – they’re responsible for not only these limbless fluff orbs but also the squished bottle cap stands, and even Sailor Moon uniforms

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