Ninja burglar arrested in Japan, brags to police about how much he can bench press

Do you even burgle, bro?

As someone who likes to exercise, I know it can be fun, and motivating too, to trade notes with someone else about your fitness routine. You might learn a new stretch or lift, and having some sort of numeric data to compare with others can help you gauge how well your own program is working.

But there are, of course, people who take it too far, and try to work ego-boosting mentions of their physical prowess into every conversation. For example, 42-year-old Osaka resident Kazuki Nishimura recently boasted that he can bench press 120 kilograms (264 pounds), which is an impressive feat, especially for a man of his age. Unfortunately, the person he was talking to was a police investigator, who was questioning Nishimura following his arrest for a string of burglaries.

▼ Justice, being blind, isn’t impressed by your pecs.

Nishimura, who has admitted to the charges, is accused of a total of 27 successful and attempted robberies that took place between April 2017 and October 2018, targeting multiple offices and restaurants in Osaka. His M.O. was to climb to the top of the buildings, scaling up fire escapes, fences, and external air conditioning ducts, and then break in through windows or doors on the roof, where his breaking and entering was less likely to be seen or heard than at street level. Once inside, he would use a crowbar to open up safes and lockboxes, with the estimated haul over the 18-month period being 9.45 million yen (US$85,135) in cash and product vouchers.

▼ Investigators have yet to convert the monetary amount into its equivalent number of protein shakes.

Because of the mix of stealth and agility employed, investigators began calling the suspect “a ninja.”  However, Nishimura didn’t always live up to the aura of capable coolness his nickname suggests. During a failed robbery in August of 2017, Nishimura dropped his home key at the crime scene, which the Osaka Prefectural Police found and used to eventually identify him as a suspect, and even allowed them to determine the

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