Hello Kitty visits SoraNews24 HQ! Traditional Mongolian wrestling starts four seconds later

She may not have started it, but she sure as heck ended it.

We recently got word that Japanese icon Hello Kitty would be visiting office in order to promote her Hello Again campaign in celebration of her 45th anniversary next year. However, we don’t care if you’re Hello Kitty or even Pom Pom Purin. If you want to come here to promote something, you’ll have to pay your dues through feats of strength.

However, Hello Kitty is a wily opponent. She’s shown herself to be extremely versatile at a number of skills from DJing to vlogging to exorcisms. Miss Kitty would certainly best us at most conventional forms of martial artistry, so we’d need to think way outside the box…all the way outside to Mongolia!

We decided it was best to fight Hello Kitty in the traditional Mongolian wrestling art of bökh, and chose our strongest staff member, P.K. Sanjun to grapple with the kitten-girl.

After donning the traditional Mongolian wrestling garb of a zodog (open-chested jacket) and shuudag (tight briefs), P.K. hid behind a shelf until Hello Kitty’s arrival.

Surprise was essential for this challenge as Hello Kitty’s Matrix-like ability to master new skills meant we couldn’t afford to give her any time to prepare.

Suddenly there was a lighthearted knock at the door…

It was Hello Kitty herself! The entire office was bathed in a pastel pink aura and everything from staplers to the ruins of Mr. Sato’s cardboard mini-house began to sparkle.

Fellow writer Seiji greeted the legend and immediately began to regale her with stories about his hair transplant, neither of them knowing the danger lurking in the shadows of the room.

Just as Miss Kitty and Seiji were really hitting

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