If eating fried chicken makes us evil, we no longer have any desire to be good.
On October 31, a gorgeously illustrated anime-style trailer showed up on YouTube. In keeping with the Halloween spirit, a series of dark magicians and monsters appear, accompanied by ominous organ music as they intone their cryptic prophecies.
First comes the Lord of Flames, pictured above, who warns us:
“Two great forces rise. The monarch returns, and the people dance in a mad frenzy.”
He’s followed by the Burning Phoenix, a fierce bird with flaming plumage, and the promise that:
“The phoenixes, through scorching hellfire, visit the feasts of delight.”
The first crack in the super-serious armor comes with the Paladin of Sauce, though his dialogue is still full of gravitas.
“The giant blades of glimmering gold and dark pitch slice through the covetous travelers.”
There’s similar dichotomy with the sultry Cheddar Lucifer, who wraps herself with her mismatched wings and cradles her breasts while promising:
“The shining golden jewel beckons the lambs to the Forest of Slumber.”
And finally, the spectral Time Exector, a cloaked figure with naught but a starry void inside his hood of his mantle, says:
“Upon those who undertake this temporal ordeal, the blessing of the Dark Lord shall be bestowed.”
Despite their limited animation, the characters are exquisitely illustrated, and had us thinking this might be a teaser for a new anime-style smartphone card game, even as we heard the start of the next line of narration:
“Terrified by the sublime wail of the lord, the people are led to the purity of their destiny.”
But it turns out that all of this devilish intrigue is actually promoting something far less divisive than randomized gatcha play mechanics. Instead, it’s for something almost everyone loves: fried chicken!